Dearest Pretzel Croissants,
I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend. I am writing to you from Columbus, Ohio, where I am spending a few days with my family who have transplanted here from Chicago.
My family is now obsessed with the Columbus Crew (MLS team) and last night we watched them play against New York. My nephew, who is 5, had been looking forward to this game all day. When New York scored first, he started screaming and crying, yelling “mamaaaaa” as if he’d had a bad fall and was bleeding profusely. “This is terrible!” he screamed with real pain as the half came to a close, burrowing himself into the couch. Not to make light of his trials, but it was hilarious.
I have never been much of a sports person, though I have always enjoyed soccer, and played a lot of it growing up. But recently, I have been listening to a horrific yet very addictive audiobook, recommended to me by my friend Nelson. It is a hockey romance (yes you heard that, a HOCKEY romance) called “Pucking Around”.
The strange outcome of filling my head with this smut for hours at a time is that I now find sports sexy. I think this book has has re-wired my brain with irreversible connection pathways. I barely recognize myself.
I’m not sure what to do with this newfound association with sports, but I may try to become a fan of something. Maybe Nashville Soccer Club. I also considered hockey, but the Nashville hockey team is called “The Predators,” and that’s just a difficult one to support. I did go to see a Preds game prior to reading “Pucking Around”, and I didn’t find it very sexy. But maybe I should try again with this newfound perspective.
This experience has led to an interesting realization, which is that fandom is, like all things, about sex (or lust, or idolization, or desire). As a music fan, I’ve always known this, but I didn’t realize the feeling was universal to the fandom experience. I always assumed sports fandom was about “the beauty of the game” or betting on the outcome, or general appreciation for physical prowess, or something else I didn’t understand. But affinity for specific teams is really about affinity for the specific players on the teams. You want to know their stories, to see them rise above hardship, or defeat their enemies.
It seems that when you become a fan, you’re either falling in love with a person (not the real person, obviously, but your idea of that person) or aspiring to be that person, which is a similar feeling at the end of the day. We want to have ownership over the things we love. We want to marry them, claim them, or become part of them ourselves.
In some ways, fandom is a painful, vulnerable feeling. You’re always going to want more than you can have. Like a crush from afar, you live in eternal hopefulness of growing closer to the source, but you’ll never be able to touch it.
On the flip side, the distance allows you to maintain the perfect fantasy you’ve built around the situation, never having to confront the realities that come along with actual relationships.
Luckily, I have another ten days of touring with the sports-obsessed Pony Bradshaw band (The other sports confused bandmember Matt Pendrick pictured above) to do some research on what my future fandom should be. I am also taking suggestions for the most Art Hoe teams to support.
I hope you are all having a great summer, and falling in love left, right, and center field? and
Your new sports bro friend,
Rachel
Not such a bad thing to have a distraction. Get your mind off the showbiz grind. Inspiration can be found anywhere anytime. Be the girl with the pen.
Fan Dom Rachel
The king in yellow for non sports enthusiasts
Quickly listen to the Sparrow Quartet
Before the book has its full effect.
You begin to perform in Hockey jerseys and play organ fight songs for a living.
Yes Mistress mote it be
Catch you on the flipside with Cristina V.