The Weekly Croissant: Tour Diary

It was actually George's tour, I was merely a visitor

Hello Croissants,

Some of you will remember my complaints about the wild folks of Frontier Airlines, including my neighbor who tried to eat my food. Well, this past weekend I braved Spirit Airlines, another extremely budget airline (round trip Nashville to NYC = $60) and I’m happy to report that it was me, Hi, I was the problem, it was me.

I was chugging along just fine, watching my wholesome British vet show (All Creatures Great and Small), and feeling completely normal. When it was time for us to land, the flight attendants had us all strap in, lift the tray tables, etc. As we descended, the plane started tossing and turning. I was sitting in an exit row with no windows, and I just could not acclimate. I started getting that horrible feeling, the sweats, my mouth watering, and I knew I was about to throw up.

The seat in front of me was far out of reach, and I couldn’t see a bag tucked into the back. Panicking, I looked around, trying to assess my options. In the row across from me, a flight attendant was strapped in backward, in her special jump seat.

Ma’am, I said. Is there a bag over there? I’m going to be sick.

She looked at me and then pointed out the window. We are literally about to land, she said.

I need a bag!!! I almost yelled.

She looked at me, sighed, and then slowly, painstakingly, fished one out of the back of one of the chairs. She passed it to the passenger facing her, and each person passed it from hand to hand until it reached me, all of them looking at me in horror.

Not three seconds after the bag reached me, it was in heavy use. A near miss.

After this embarrassing episode, I exited the plane as quickly as possible, keeping my head down. Later that day, I stepped in cat throw-up (barefoot) and then dropped a set of keys into dog poop. I must have been giving off a very specific energy, inviting all kinds of bodily rejections to accompany me on my journey.

On the upside, I did get to have some tremendous food in New York, including a fresh watermelon slush drink recommended to me by my hosts from a place called A & N Fruit Store, and cacio e pepe from my new favorite Italian restaurant, Frank. (Both of these items stayed in my stomach).

I hope everyone is enjoying the last throws of summer and getting ready for the best season of alllllll

Fun Fact: This idea/graphic, which went viral and has been illegally reproduced all over the internet was originally designed by Laura Worrick (@wawawawick on instagram), who also designed my “No Shame” T-Shirts, still my best-selling merch item of all time. TY LAURA FOR BEING BRILLIANT.

Speaking of merch, I’m excited to have a special show in my hometown of Chicago coming up, supporting Sam Burchfield at Lincoln Hall, Sept 21st! What a treat.

See y’all there (or somewhere down the road!)

Rachel